May 23, 2016

Let go?

And what if this is the hardest thing you have to do?

I used to recognize myself
It's funny how reflections change
When we're becoming something else
I think it's time to walk away
So come on let it go,
just let it be
why don't you be you,
and I'll be me...

This is bullshit..Chuck was right: Love IS bullshit. 
Love is selfish.
Love is a headshot.
Love is something that doesn't stay with me for long or deceives me into believing that I'm so close to touching it. 
But it's never like that...something pulls me back and I'm right back from where I started.
      I guess it's me. I must be that thing in the way.

  It's either love or life showing me how I can never trust any of my feelings and emotions and that I am actually right just about everything, that I can never take my own advice cause it doesn't work on me.

Sometimes I hate being right.

I know what needs to be done.
    I know what are the decisions that need to be made.
        I'm the one with the good advice.
            I'm the one who's gone through hell and came back and everything looks so easy to bear.

But once I actually do it, once I actually try living with all this - it feels like something I've never experienced before.

Distance ...yes, make no mistake, it kills everything; just another belief I had that turned out to be true.
 I hate being right.

In the end, I don't believe this bullshit theory about letting go.
You want my opinion about this?

 I'll tell you anyway: 

        if you let go, you're a coward.

        if you love someone and they don't love you back the way you want them to, forget about letting go and allowing them to be happy with someone else cause this is what you're supposed to if you really love that person... 

Instead, leave their ass, find someone who does and never look back.

  If love indeed conquered all, there would be nothing that would keep two lovers apart.
And despite everything - 
          despite my cynicism, my sarcasm, despite everything I've become in the last three years, despite all the aggressiveness I may show from time to time...
                 I still believe in 

But believing doesn't mean that I'm looking for it.
I'm not looking for anything.
I thought I found it.
I thought I was living it.
Turns out ... 
          objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.