December 8, 2015

Crazy in...?

I've been shown that love turns us into the most vulnerable beings.

I felt it.

Lust/Passion makes us slaves.

I felt it.

And the quest for both makes us...mere mortals.

All this for just a few moments of ...everything.

Few moments of this: 

The things we go through just to find it...whatever IT is.

       The words we don't say but we so desperately want to...
              The things we do and regret...
                  The things we don't do and regret...
                     The answers we have without even asking the question...
                          The things we joke about when only we know how true we feel them inside....
The insecurity..
The agony: what will he/she think if...
The things we hide from the other and from ourselves...
The fear of rejection...

  But then what? 

     One of my best friends asked herself why we do all this, why we complicate everything, when we could just speak our minds and make it all easy on each other?

     But I guess I may have found the answer: it's the hunt that we want.
Nobody appreciates things that come easily, right?
  So, why not add a bit of complication and excitement?
     Who ever learned anything valuable when surrounded by sunshine and butterflies? 
That's right! 

     Even characters in the Once upon a time stories have to go through some tough stuff before getting to that And they lived happily ever after...

But in real life this means:    

           In real life, we need drama, we create the circumstances for drama and even when things go well...well...somehow our subconscious manages to f*&k everything up. 

Cause we feed on misery...ours and that of others.

  We develop character through struggle, no matter what kind.

We struggle with our fears, our desires, our passions, our emotions, our thoughts.
    We fight with our own self because some part of us thinks it knows what's right despite anything and anyone.
We try hiding our true self, true identity ...for what, in the end? For who?

  We keep ourselves from doing things because...

Yes, Wilde was right: 

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it. 
   Resist it, and your soul grows sick with longing for the things it has forbidden to itself, with desire for what its monstrous laws have made monstrous and unlawful.”

  And this guy understood human nature:

It is so late and there are so many things to say.
     Those who felt all these things or half of it will understand.
          The rest...have patience, it'll come to you.

November 1, 2015


This is for all the mothers in the world who ever had to let their children go anywhere without them, hear my cry.
My baby left me this Saturday for the first time in almost 7 years to go on a trip with kids from school for a week.
How do I cope with this? 

How do I stop making all kind of scenarios in my head?
  Hooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow? let's try to take it easy.

Now seriously...
        #1.1 - Donde esta the train station?

   We get there first. It's damn cold and the teacher and the other kids arrive at the last minute. We wait for about 50 minutes staring at the train that's already there.
 Finally...everyone's here. Wait! Where's the rest of the gang? There are only 4 kids. Ok..ok...everything's cool. 
  The less, the better, cause this way, there's a higher chance for the two teachers not to lose mine somewhere.

We get on the train and I start hugging Kidzilla and giving him lots of kissy kissy as if he was going to war.
             #2 - say good bye
     I'm kicked out of the train at the last minute, but not before I see the other 4 monster kids taking out their IPads.          OMG! Kidzilla hasn't got one cause...well...duuuuhhh...he's going on a trip to the mountains for fun outdoor activities, not to Apple camp.

   I get off and immediately start crying. Darth looks at me as if I were a freak of nature, but I can see he's about to cry too. Pussy
   We take a last look at Kidzilla just before the train starts moving and...there he goes. Yes! Now I can cry in peace...

      #3 - come back to an empty house
   First thing...I sit on the couch and wonder when would be a good time to call him. It's only been 30 minutes since he left. Should I call him already? 
   Yes. So I dial...he's fine. He likes the train. 
Ok. Let's calm down and maybe wait another 30 minutes before I call again.
         #4 - how long til I call again? 
     Oh, thank God! Or Big Bang...before he gets there, we talk a few times. His phone battery will be dead in no time. He's the youngest in the group and the mean kids played with their tablets all the way there; "stupid" me, I only got him some comic books. 
  Now they're waiting for some means of transportation to take them to the hotel.
        That's right...they're staying in a 4* hotel with a nice indoor pool, jacuzzi, sauna, etc.
   In my era, on this kind of school trips the kids slept in shared dorms for up to 10 people; showers were somewhere outside and so were the toilets. But this was 100 years ago...

           #5 - my baby's crying
OMG! OMG! in the evening he calls crying cause the mean kids are not playing with him. And Darth had this brilliant idea -  
        to tell him that, if he doesn't like it there, he's gonna go get him back. Yeah...I'd like to see that...

So now, my kid wants to come home. 
   I'm trying not to cry too and I'm one step away from telling him to punch that annoying kid - cause there's one in particular who's picking on him - in the face. Can I do that?? I'd like to see him do this :

   He's finally going to sleep and I try to reassure him explaining that it's normal for kids to act like that when they don't know each other.
     Damn, adults do the same and, when under a lot of ..."stress", they have sex on the first date. 
Maybe he's a little young for this, so I give him the "tomorrow will be better, try to have fun, I love you very much and you will like it there" speech instead.
The truth is that all I can think of of the following:

- he goes out on the hotel terrace, leans and falls
- he cries all night and has a nervous breakdown
- they go for a walk on the mountain and he falls
- he touches some animal and has a horrible allergy and gets to the hospital...and I'm not there
- he gets beaten up or he beats up a kid...come to think of it, beating a kid may not be such a bad scenario
- the teacher loses sight of him and he gets hit by a car

....and another hundred scenarios worth of a FINAL DESTINATION sequel...

Day 2 - I did not move from my living room couch
not very comfortable

nor did I get any sleep. 

I had my phone close by just in case Kidzilla calls. 
I have a horrible headache and I don't know how I'm gonna get through the week. 
   Oh my God! what's wrong with me? This is something that all parents dream of, right? Having their kids away for a whole week...Maybe not single mothers...
    Yep, something must be wrong with me...I'M A CRAZY PARANOID MOTHER!  5 more days to go...


October 26, 2015

3 guys / 1 evening

Don't question anything, just listen...

Playlist available here:

  “You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

- Oscar Wilde

If you be the cash,
I'll be the rubber band
You be the match,
I will be a fuse, boom
Painter baby, you could be the muse
I'm the reporter baby, you could be the news
'Cause you're the cigarette and I'm the smoker
We raise a bet, cause you're the joker
Checked off, you are a chalk
And I can be the blackboard
You could be the talk
And I could be the walk

- Miguel 

I can resist anything except
- Oscar Wilde

 “I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions.I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.

  - Oscar Wilde

 “To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.”- Oscar Wilde

 Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”- Oscar Wilde

“You will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you   never had the courage to commit."Oscar Wilde

I got a hold of you
Said you want to see
How we roll
We'll take a seat (take a seat)
And we'll just
Break it, drop it, drink it spill it
You gotta, taste it, feel it, rub it on me baby
Baby, touch your body, body

                           - The WEEKND

“The heart was made to be broken.”- Oscar Wilde 


October 25, 2015

(a) Reason?

PART 1 - Picture this

"If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience" _G.B. Shaw

  Certain people enter our lives for a reason, with a purpose: to change us for ever.

They don't have to stay long, just enough to make us unrecognizable to ourselves.
Or lead us to something great.

And if we were to listen to my all time favorite, Oscar Wilde..
 there are only two tragedies in life: 

one is not getting what one wants, 

and the other is getting it.

Well, isn't life just great? 

We go from one paradox to another. 

 Still, knowing all this, why are we still afraid of taking risks?

      Why are we still afraid of saying what we think? 

             Of screaming our feelings out loud? 

and then...starting everything all over again?

PART 2 - Picture that

I must be the most horrible person in the world least right now.
My relationship may be over (for the 100th time) cause I didn't want to change my profile picture with one that included HIM. Which profile pic? ANY.
Is this the next level for our relationshits? Or am I already behind???

I'm sorry, but I won't do it.  If my man needs social media to make sure his relationship is safe, all I can say is: 
And I'm not even a fan

 Is this the rule nowadays? 
The reason why I won't do it? Do I even have to justify this???
       Certain things have to stay mine. When in a relationship, I still need to be me, on my own.
 I say good for those people who put their entire family in their profile pic. Or their child. Or their boyfriend/girlfriend/parents etc. But I ain't one of those. And I don't ask for it either.

My profile pic represents .

Maybe if I were still in my 20's, I'd understand this sort of needs. But recently I turned...Oh God! It hurts to even say it, but I will: 34!

Or maybe I only got those 4 moods:

October 20, 2015

Food/ Lust/ that order

    Outside it's raining like crazy and I just saw a romantic movie - yes, I admit it, I like watching any romantic shit I can get my hands on.
     The movie was bad ...cause the guy didn't get the girl at the end. What? I'm entitled to my own opinion.
    Anyways, blame it on the rain, or the love pouring out of my TV, but I felt like reading some love/lust quotes. 

    Aaaand cause I've been trying to be on a diet lately, I thought some food quotes were in place.

Aaaaaaaaand cause I'm nice, I'm sharing this with you.

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook." -Julia Child

It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even 

harder to remember sweetness. We 

have no scar to show for happiness. 

We learn so little from peace.” 

"A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand." -Barbara Johnson
Google image

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.” 

And this could go on all night...but it's late, so good night everyone !