September 28, 2013

Who's afraid of Lexy Gray?

       Lexy and the KID are sitting in a tree,
       the KID proposes and Lexy says: "weeeeeeeeeee"

       But what happens when Lexy feels she has cold feet about the marriage? The KID goes wild. And no, for once it's not for sex. Cause sex is something that neither Lexy or the KID are getting; just because the KID is working in the evening shift and Lexy is old(er) and falls asleep before Romeo comes back.  And apparently Lexy is showing teeth

and is almost ready to bark/bite in her sleep if anyone tried to move her or make her change sleep positions...let alone try to have sex with her

And now, seriously, about the cold feet thing...Haven't you all been there? Isn't this like a syndrome or something? I know I wasn't/am not (ooohhhh I don't know anymore) the marrying kind, but it seems that doubt has taken over. Problem is I'm not sure if I doubt him or myself or us or just the concept of marriage...really don't. And he's expecting me to act all normal about it. if I married every two years. 

     So, everything went on like this: 
I come home from work feeling a little down (who doesn't), but with no specific reason. I make the mistake of dropping a word to my significant other and booooooom! Third world war is nothing compared to his reaction to my ...possible...eventual doubt.
But I, myself don't even know if I doubt anything or if it's just a bad state of mind due to work, plans that I'm making to leave ...everything (but this is another story), my kid (the little one) who's been driving me crazy lately or our daily "matches".
  So here we go! We choose Google Hangouts (sorry guys) as a battlefield. Oh my God, where are the days when writing to someone who was away was only possible by post? By the time your angry letter got to that person, the shrinks would have done their job on anger management.
I say: "I need extra reassurance"
He says: "Ok, we don't do it and I will no longer talk about it"
I say: "And I thought I was extreme"
            u r of great help what can I say"He says: "well either you want it or you don't
                thinking about it is not an answer
                actually it is; it's a NO!

I pause for just a few seconds while I

He says: " so now you don't have time to answer...
               you're not in the mood for me I guess"

What if I were to the bathroom? Or on the phone with my Mom who forgets to hang up sometimes...Social networking is not helping this time... AT.ALL !

     We end the Google chat (not very friendly), he comes back from work (at 1 am may I add) and we continue the "debate" face to face.  I am already cursing the moment I turned on my computer, let alone the minute I wrote the fatidic phrase.  He's telling me I don't love him the same way he does (we all have our ways of loving, right?), that he's thinking about a future for us (and I'm not????) but I'm still acting as if I were single. Right...If that were the case, I'd still lie on the floor somewhere in the house crying my heart out and not eat at all. Hey..wait a minute...the part about not eating is not that bad :)) Just kidding!

But what was I thinking??? Talking to him about marriage, cold feet and second thoughts is like mentioning pork to a Jewish person. 

By 3 am the discussion is over, the sex has already been had and love and marriage ideas have come back from that unknown destination where they had gone to wander. 

     I guess all this stress is coming from all the plans that I'm making for our future (me, him and my baby) or maybe I'm just not that into marriage.   
    When the idea came about, I told 5 of my friends: all women, 4 married and one eternal single girl (who finds something wrong to any guy who dares to approach her). I know! Not the best entourage:) 
Anyway, the married ones said: "Great! It was obvious that this is what you've always wanted. Every girl/woman dreams of getting married." Right...KILL ME!
The unmarried one said: "Is this you? Really? Sweety can I call you later?" I'm still not sure if she was really busy doing something else or this was her "defense" mechanism towards the news she just got.
  It's good to know what they're thinking. You don't want to know my parents' reaction to the idea that the suicidal broken hearted girl from almost 9 months ago who promissed to never have any relationship in her life (but still continue to have sex of course) would do such an iresponsible thing. I should have eloped;)

At the time of this post, we're still not married (even though we wanted to do it the same week the idea came to our crazy heads), he's pretending to sleep next to me (I say pretending cause from time to time he raises his head, looks at my laptop and then he's giving me the mean look cause I'm writing instead of looking at him sleep:)))) and I'm thinking : dieting is not for me:) 

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